We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
