Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize