She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
