do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
