just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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