My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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