I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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