A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize