my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
