Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
