Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
