one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
