Where is the hickey?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I want a musical about memes.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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