I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize