i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize