i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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