what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i drank out of a bidet.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
