Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
