she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm having to shit out rocks
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
