Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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