Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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