birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
