see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
