so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
