turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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