You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
