i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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