Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
