Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
