I wannas sexs uuuuu
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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