i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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