nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
