Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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