after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
