Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
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this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
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I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple