Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
yea but for you.
Small penises have feelings too.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.