i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Houston, we have a squirter
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.