I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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