do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
