that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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