you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
