if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
