found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
