Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
