My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize