then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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