Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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