I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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