i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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