So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I think my moral compass just broke
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize