He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize