ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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