She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
