Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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