Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
