respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room