just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
