I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
