NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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