My Higher Power is John Stamos
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
