the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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